


Eulogy for a Pendant

by Leloi



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Bonding, Comparing self to counterpart, Life is a cockblock, M/M, Porn With Plot, References to Unfilmed Scene, Spock's Pendant, Unintentional Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-28 23:03:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3873094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leloi/pseuds/Leloi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirk held up the pendant watching it swing, eclipsing stars with each pass.  The observation deck was silent, leaving him alone with his thoughts for the past hour.  There was a soft hiss as the door opened and Kirk caught the pendant in his hand.  “I knew you would come.”</p><p>“How?”  Spock asked from somewhere near the door.</p><p>Kirk shrugged and released the pendant, allowing it to swing in a wide arc in front of his eyes, once again blocking out the stars.  “He’s dead.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eulogy for a Pendant

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for: Reflection on Character Death.
> 
> Since Leonard passed I've wondered how they will deal with Spock Prime's death in the reboot series. The pendant they are referring was a scene in the reboot they didn't film. I included the script text for Kirk Prime's hologram at the end in notes. 
> 
> Also with the assumption that Spock Prime and Kirk Prime were T'hy'la and bonded towards the end of their lives.

Kirk held up the pendant watching it swing, eclipsing stars with each pass. The observation deck was silent, leaving him alone with his thoughts for the past hour. There was a soft hiss as the door opened and Kirk caught the pendant in his hand. “I knew you would come.”

“How?” Spock asked from somewhere near the door.

Kirk shrugged and released the pendant, allowing it to swing in a wide arc in front of his eyes, once again blocking out the stars. “He’s dead.”

“My counterpart? Yes. I know.”

“He wasn’t that old… For a Vulcan.” 

“He was half human.” Spock answered and took a step closer to his captain. “How are you?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you? After all… He was you.”

“I did not have a close relationship with my counterpart. You did.” Spock took another few steps to stand just behind his captain. “I grieve with thee.”

Kirk caught the pendant and stared out at the stars. “I feel bad for him. To be brought into this world from his own… Knowing he could never get back to the people he cared about. Stuck here with us in a timeline he didn’t belong…” His eyes studied the pendant in dim light. 

“He lost those he cared for in his own time line.” Spock stated. “All he had left was his mission.”

Kirks finger flicked the pendant’s switch and a hologram hovered above his hand. 

“Happy birthday to you… Happy birthday to you…” An old human started to sing.

Kirk flicked the switch and the holo disappeared. 

Spock closed the distance between them, looking at where the hologram had been. “Was that…?”

“That was my counterpart.” Kirk answered, flicking the switch again to allow his counterpart to sing most of the song before he shut it off again.

“My counterpart carried a hologram of your counterpart singing?” Spock’s eyebrow raised in confusion. 

“Spock… They were… I don’t know what you would call them. But yes. This was one of the few possessions Old Spock took with him everywhere. In his own time line my counterpart had been missing and presumed dead for about ninety some odd years. This was the last gift he gave Spock before he disappeared. They planned to retire together once Kirk got back from his mission. But he never came back…”

“My counterpart told you?” 

“I saw his memories.” Kirk responded. “In the meld.” His hand tightened on the pendant. 

“Let me see your counterpart again.” 

Kirk flicked the switch and held the pendant in his hand, allowing it to play the message all the way through. The words brought tears to the human’s eyes as he fought to keep from crying. From the meld he knew how much pain the message had caused Old Spock when he received it shortly after his Jim Kirk’s disappearance. 

“Jim…” Spock breathed.

Desperately Kirk tried to think of something to lighten the mood. “Bones is right about the hamburgers!” The sobs escaped anyway and he helplessly collapsed to the floor, clutching the pendant. 

Spock gracefully knelt beside him, leaning into his space. “I know that is not the reason you are disturbed.”

“Yes it is! Did you see me?! I was old and… And...”

“He was not old.” Spock answered. “He was still in the prime of his life. He had the potential of a life before him. And then he was gone. And because of that my counterpart was alone for ninety seven years. That is why you are sad. You grieve for what could have been and never was.”

Kirk sniffled and rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. “Isn’t that… Illogical?”

“Part of your pain may be transference from my counterpart. You experience his pain. I cannot imagine what it is to lose a mate as he did.”

“You lost T’Pring.” 

Spock gave Kirk a curious look. “T’Pring? T’Pring broke our engagement before I left for Earth. When I declined the VSA she asked that our bond be severed.”

“Oh…” Kirk sniffled again.

“Did he tell you about T’Pring?”

“I saw.” Kirk answered. “She chose his captain at his Pon Farr as her challenger.”

“It is a fight to the death.”

“Spock thought he killed his captain. That’s all I really know. There were some flashes of deep sorrow followed by exhilarating joy. I assume it meant that my counterpart survived. So you don’t have a wife waiting for you?”

“I… Do not.” Spock replied. 

“So… Jim Kirk was his mate?” Kirk stared down at the pendant.

“If he chose a human mate he may have had more than one in his lifetime. You know of what a Vulcan must go through. That would not end just because his human mate died. He would have taken others.”

“Oh…” Kirk traced the pendant with his fingertip.

“You are troubled.”

Kirk shrugged. “I thought my counterpart may have been special to him…”

Spock held out his hand and Kirk placed the pendant into it. Spock’s fingers explored the piece of jewelry. “This is not the original housing for the hologram. This was custom made so he could wear it. The original may have been cumbersome and difficult to carry around.”

“Meaning… What exactly?”

“This was important enough for him to always carry it wherever he went.”

Kirk shrugged. “Maybe he was just… Eternally loyal to his captain?”

Spock carefully placed the necklace around Kirk’s neck, allowing the pendant to rest over his heart. “Jim Kirk was a cherished mate. My counterpart carried this last message as a treasure for the rest of his life.”

“And gave it to me when he died…” Kirk’s eyes went wide before he rapidly started to blink back tears. “Ok… Wow… I think I’m going to cry again.” Hastily he wiped away the dampness from the corners of his eyes. “To love someone that much… You keep a piece of them for ninety seven years… Wow…” Kirk rubbed his nose, feeling the burn of threatening tears. “I feel like such a…” Taking several deep breaths, he fought to regain his composure. “I feel so… Unworthy. You know?”

“I do not.” Spock answered simply.

“I should have given him more of my time… Talked to him more. Maybe I could have helped him be happy here? I don’t know… It seems like I could have done more for him. He told me that we are the same… The other Jim Kirk and I are the same. Different but the same katra.”

“My counterpart understood that you have your own life to live… Your own life path. You make your own choices. He was content because you are doing what you were born to do.”

“What was I born to do?” Kirk almost felt like he could laugh if he wasn’t so sad.

Spock pointed towards the observation window and the stars beyond. “You heard your counterpart. You belong out there.”

“At Spock’s side…”

Spock regarded the stars from where he knelt on the floor beside Kirk. “We are side by side.”

Kirk finally smiled, feeling his mood lift. “Yes, we are.”

“I have no plans to leave. Do you?”

“No… I don’t.” Kirk answered. “But then again… I’m not the one who will go through Pon Farr in a year or two.”

Spock took a deep breath and seemed to hold it for a long time before he finally let it out. 

“Sorry… I know that’s probably a sore subject. But do you have any options? It happened to your counterpart when he was around your age so it will probably happen to you around that time. T’Pring is out… Do you have a backup?”

“No…” Spock answered quietly.

“Whatever you do, Spock… Don’t lie to me when your time comes, ok? Any delay in getting you where you need to go with whomever you need… Just don’t hide it from me. I know what it means and how important it is. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you get through it. Whatever we’re doing I’ll drop it and take you where you need to go. Understood?” 

Spock inclined his head in a nod. 

“If you don’t want to talk about it… I don’t know… Just give me a code word or something so I know what you need. Maybe… Um… Pendant?”

“Pendant?”

Kirk looked down at his chest, staring at the pendant. “Sorry… It’s the first thing that popped into my mind. We can think of another word.”

“Pendant is acceptable. It will remind you of this conversation.” Spock kept his attention on the stars. 

“Any thought as to who you will… You know?” Kirk asked.

Spock blinked and shifted his attention to the floor before him. “Yes. But I have not asked them.”

“You should ask them. They need to know what it means.”

“I am fairly certain they already know what it means.”

“Then why don’t you ask them?”

“Considering our past conversations I do not think now is a proper time.”

“Why not?”

“They will think it is for other reasons.”

“Such as?”

“Such as blindly following the life path already chosen for me with no consideration for any alternative.”

“Life path?”

“Consider who we are here to commemorate and the path they represent. And yet his insistence that I find my own path. Would it be true to his wishes to choose the same path he did?”

“Spock… Are you talking about your counterpart?” Kirk was confused. 

Spock reached out and touched the pendant that rested over Kirk’s heart. “Would I carry this cherished memory for the rest of my life the way he did? Will it give me comfort in my old age when you are gone?”

Something clicked in Kirk’s mind. His hand reached out to touch Spock’s cheek, feeling the tingle of energy where their skin touched. For a moment he wallowed in the sensation before he pulled his hand away to give Spock some space. 

Startled, Spock scooted back, putting a few inches distance between them. 

“What? You going to hit me?” Kirk whispered. “Or strangle me?” Shifting his position he hugged his knees as he stared out at the stars. “Sorry I touched you. I know Vulcan’s don’t like to be touched except by family or lovers.”

Spock sat in silence, his fingertips exploring the cheek Kirk had touched. 

“I won’t touch you again. Promise…” Kirk whispered. 

“You knew that would happen.” Spock breathed.

“I’ve felt it before… A few times. I don’t think you’ve ever noticed. I mentioned it to your counterpart and he assured me it was normal for us… Whatever that means. When he melded with me it was similar. It was fluttery but less…” Kirk shook his head, a bit embarrassed at the side effects of the buzzing. His arms tightened around his knees, hoping to hide the physical remnants. “Spock… I would do anything for you. Anything. I can’t imagine us being apart. But if you want someone else… I won’t stand in your way. I don’t want you to feel like you’re stuck with me. But I know what all this means and I accept it. I don’t expect you to carry a hologram of me until the end of your days. What they had was special and probably unique to them. But I will do my best.” As he spoke, Kirk got up on his feet. 

Spock rose to his feet and stood, facing his captain. Hesitantly he raised his first two fingers.

Kirk placed his own fingers against Spock’s and trembled at the sensation. With the buzzing he felt like something within him was being pulled into Spock through only his fingers. His body reacted with waves of pleasure and Kirk gasped at the sudden onslaught of sensations. Hastily he pulled his fingers away before he embarrassed himself even more. 

Spock stared at where his own fingers were left on their own. “We are bonded.”

“I should get back. Back to work… Back to the ship.”

“Your next shift will not commence for another three point forty seven hours.”

“A captain’s work is never done.”

“You are eager to leave my presence?”

“Spock… We have time to figure this all out… Whatever it is. Don’t we?” Kirk attempted to give him a charming smile. “You probably won’t even say ‘pendent’ for a year, maybe two, right?”

“Does it bother you, Jim?”

“Why would it bother me? If anything it should bother you. After all isn’t it a somewhat cruel surprise that you’re stuck with someone like me?”

“Stuck is not the verb I would use to describe my situation.” Spock answered.

“If we’re bonded… Then you’re stuck with me as your mate. Can you even see me as something more than a friend?”

“You are referring to lovers?” Spock raised an eyebrow.

Kirk blushed and smiled, looking away to the stars.

“I never contemplated what gender my eventual mate would be. I am confident that I will be able to somewhat please you. I am willing to learn techniques that will satisfy you. My concern is that you will not be completely satisfied with monogamy or a male partner. So I ask again… Does this situation bother you? It has not yet been consummated and there are ways to break it.”

“Spock… That’s not what bothers me. You know I’ve been with a lot of people. I don’t know how many you’ve been with… But I’m not…” Kirk shook his head and gave Spock a weak smile. “I’ve done things. I have a past. I survived a lot of messed up shit. My counterpart may have been a bit of a womanizer but he didn’t go through all the crap I went through. Old Spock was still ok with it because he was there for a lot of it and witnessed it. I guess I’m saying… I have a lot of baggage.”

“As do I.” Spock answered quietly. “I do not have all of your experience with lovers but I have baggage. I am aware that I am broken and therefore somewhat unworthy of you.”

“Oh… Spock…” Kirk wrapped his arms around the Vulcan, pulling him into an embrace. His chin fit on Spock’s shoulder and he rested there, feeling the alien in his arms. “You aren’t broken.”

“No more than you.” Spock breathed, wrapping his arms around Kirk’s waist. “I reiterate… I am not stuck with you, but you may be stuck with me.”

With a shyness Kirk hadn’t felt since he was an awkward teenager, he kissed Spock’s head somewhere near his ear. Pulling away enough to rest his forehead against the Vulcan’s he kept his arms around his shoulders and gently swayed as if they were slow dancing. Delight washed through him when Spock followed his steps. After a few steps Kirk hummed a tuneless melody as they made a slow circle in place wrapped around each other.

“I was not aware that slow dancing could be accomplished without music.”

“Did Uhura teach you about human dancing?”

“Yes. She explained that it was a part of human courting rituals to move together in close proximity as music played. Centuries ago it was used as a way to gauge prospective sexual partners by their ability to sync rhythm. I do not hear any music aside from your humming.”

Kirk burst into a giggle. “Sometimes dancing is just dancing!”

“In my experience dancing together is never just dancing. It often precedes a step in the mating ritual.”

“And what step is that?” Kirk asked, taking Spock’s hand in his own so he could step back and allow more space between them, but still kept the slow, swaying circling.

Spock’s attention was drawn to Kirk’s hand in his own, their palms pressed together. “Kissing.”

Kirk pulled their clutched hands in to the space between their chests, continuing his swaying steps. “Do you think our counterparts ever did this?”

“I do not know. It is enjoyable.”

Kirk bowed his head and lightly touched Spock’s index finger with his lips. Immediately the dancing stopped and they stood, chest to chest, wrapped around each other as Kirk lightly drew his teeth against the skin of Spock’s index finger. And then with a swipe of the tongue he pulled away completely. “I think lovers won’t be a problem. Do you?”

Wordless Spock shook his head, eyes wide in shock.

“So… We’re keeping the bond?”

Spock advanced, taking Kirk’s head in his hands and pulled him close, kissing him as deeply and hungrily as his limited experience taught him humans liked. Breathlessly he stepped away.

“Your counterpart… Never did that.” Kirk whispered, reaching up to wipe moisture from his bottom lip.

“I am not my counterpart.” Spock answered. “I look forward to our explorations in satisfying one another as lovers.”

Kirk grinned at him, eyes flashing with amusement. “I look forward to it too.”

“After your shift I will await for you in my quarters.” Spock stated and headed towards the door.

“Wait! It’s as simple as that? One slow dance and a kiss and now we’re sleeping together?” Kirk blinked at the Vulcan in surprise.

Spock raised an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side. “You wish to delay our courtship?”

“I just thought you would approach it with a little more… Care?”

Spock returned to stand before Kirk. His hand reached up to lightly touch the pendent. 

Kirk stared at the piece of jewelry. Old Spock had carried it with him for almost a century. Being separated had broken the Old Vulcan for the rest of his life. “Ok… I get it.” Kirk placed his hand on Spock’s. “We don’t know what the future will bring. In our line of work we don’t have time to second guess ourselves.”

“That was not what I was going to say.” Spock informed him. “But it is a valid observation.”

“What were you going to say?”

“I cherish thee.”

Kirk smiled, feeling his heart soar.

^.~

Life had a way of getting in the way of plans. And for the Enterprise that meant unexpected encounters with hostile aliens who threatened to kill hostages at a nearby Science Station. The crew performed admirably but plans for “after shift” were completely forgotten when the shift continued for several days. 

“You have been on the bridge for forty seven point five hours.” Spock informed Kirk on day two of the hostage situation.

“I’m well aware of that.”

“Captain, your human physiology requires rest to be at the optimum performance.”

“Scotty and Jennings are down there.” 

“I am well aware of the situation, Captain.” Spock answered. “You have requested that the rest of the crew take shifts. I advise you to do the same.”

Kirk stared at his first officer and future husband, recognizing the concern in his eyes. “Just a little more time, Spock.”

“Very well.” Spock returned to his post.

Nearly five hours later Kirk had real difficulty in keeping his eyes open and his mind alert. 

Spock stepped into Kirk’s space. 

“Spock?” Kirk blinked up at the Vulcan. “Take the conn. I will take a short rest.”

“Very well, Captain.” Spock answered as he took the command chair.

Another thirty two hours later the conflict was resolved. McCoy demanded that the crew be given leave to recover from the stress and exhaustion. On the top of his list was James T Kirk who spent the second most time on the bridge aside from a certain Vulcan.

“This is silly!” Kirk growled as he was escorted down the hallway to his cabin by Spock. “He can’t send me to my cabin for medical rest. That’s mutiny!” His protests ended when they reached the door and entered into the cabin. The door swished shut and Kirk stumbled. Spock caught him easily and set him on his feet again. “I’m exhausted.”

“Your sacrifice has increased the morale on the ship.” Spock stated as he guided Kirk to the bed and sat him down. Kneeling down he began to remove Kirk’s boots. “They know you work tirelessly… Which was no doubt your goal by your performance.”

“I did good… Didn’t I?”

“However I must protest your method.” Spock guided Kirk’s bare feet onto the bed. “Working past exhaustion is dangerous. Human brains require sleep or else they do not function at peak efficiency.” Spock sat on the edge of the bed and took off his own boots.

“What are you doing?”

“Undressing for bed.” Spock answered. “I was placed on medical leave.”

“I’m too tired for sex…” Kirk murmured as he rolled to the far side of the bed. 

“I agree that intercourse would not be advisable at this time.” Spock stated as he began to pull off Kirk’s trousers.

“Then why are you taking off my clothes?”

“You would have a better sleep if you removed your more restrictive clothing.” Spock answered as he discarded Kirk’s trousers and command shirt. Pulling down the sheets he encouraged Kirk to use the bed properly before standing to remove the rest of his own clothing. Folding them, he set them aside and climbed into bed beside Kirk. “Lights.” The room went dark.

For a while Kirk lay on his stomach, his mind churning through everything they had gone through in the past four days. His mind was active with all the challenges and the exhaustion. And then he focused on Spock. Spock was very still and his breathing was barely audible. Focusing on it seemed to quiet down his mind. His leg kicked out and his foot made contact with one of Spock’s legs. His toes rubbed against the smooth skin a moment before he pushed his toes under Spock’s leg. His mind finally began to drift off and soon he was sound asleep.

^.~

Kirk woke alone. On some level he knew that Spock woke and went about his day much earlier than the human captain. But waking to an empty bed hurt. 

There wasn’t much time to think on it. As soon as he returned to the bridge there were orders for the Enterprise to proceed to a nearby star system for a diplomatic mission.

“Nudity.” Kirk stated in the conference room as he dropped his PADD on the table.

“I beg your pardon?” Bones sputtered.

“We are to beam down without a stitch of clothing.” Kirk crossed his arms over his chest.

“Why?” 

“Because in the Benbi culture clothing is seen as a means to hide something. They are an open culture. Their bodies… Their intimacy is all on display.”

“Good lord…” Boned groaned. 

“Due to the delicate nature of this away mission I will be asking for volunteers instead of following the duty roster. Those that join me must understand that they will be required to be naked for duration of our stay on the planet.”

“You’re going?” Bones raised an eyebrow at his captain.

“Of course I’ll go. My ship. My duty. Showing a little skin is worth it for the mineral deposits this planet holds. The Federation will benefit from this treaty.” Kirk pointed to his PADD. “I need five others to go with me. They will need to ready to head down to the planet in two hours. They can wear a robe to the transporter room but all clothing must be left behind. Are there any questions?”

“Naked?” Bones raised his eyebrows.

“As the day you were born.” Kirk affirmed. 

“Will you be allowed to bring communicators?” Sulu asked.

“That’s a problem… Where would we keep them?” Kirk acknowledged.

“I think I can be of some assistance…” Scott stated. “We have developed a communicator that can be placed sub-dermally. A tap on the device will put you in contact with the ship. And there’s an ear piece.” 

“That would be very helpful.” Kirk smiled at his chief engineer. “Anything else?”

No one responded.

“Very well… Send me the names of those who volunteer. Dismissed.”

The meeting was adjourned. The room cleared for all but Spock and Kirk. 

“Captain?” 

“What is it, Spock?” Kirk asked, picking up his PADD.

“I volunteer.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Kirk responded. “I know how private Vulcans are when it comes to their anatomy.”

“It is my duty to be at your side.” Spock stated.

“You’ll be naked, Spock.”

“Understood. Two hours?”

“Yes.” Kirk answered, watching him go.

Two hours later and six of the crew assembled in the transporter room, each wearing a robe. Their group included two security, Nurse Chapel, Uhura, Spock and Kirk. “You decided to join us, Uhura?” Kirk smiled at her.

“You have nothing to hide any misunderstandings behind. I’m the best you’ve got.”

“That is true.” Kirk smiled at her as he stepped onto the transporter pad. The group assembled behind him and he pulled off his robe, handing it to an ensign who then collected the rest. 

Scott made his way around the transporter pad to inject the sub-dermal communicators and install the ear pieces. “You should feel a buzz and hear a beep.” When all confirmed that their communicators where working he returned to the transporter controls. “Good luck!” 

“Energize.” Kirk answered.

The planet was warm. It was neither hot nor cold… Just a comfortable warmth that was perfect for human skin. A gathering of Benbi people had gathered and they greeted the landing party with smiles. One among them stepped away from them. “Greetings. I am Kahsa. I am one of the leaders and the host for your delegation.

“I am James Kirk.” Kirk greeted. “We have come as you’ve requested.”

“Welcome, welcome!” Kahsa reached out and took Kirk’s hand, pulling him in to the crowd. “Tonight we feast and tomorrow we talk.” 

“Welcome, welcome!” Echoed the crowd as they reached for the Starfleet officers and pulled them in. There was much touching and fond greeting. 

Kirk found himself passed through the crowed, their hands caressing his skin and they weren’t shy about where they touched. A couple of people touched his butt before he was led to a building. 

The building was very open in construction. It was more like a huge gazebo with many hanging plants. There were smaller gazebos off to the side and each contained what looked like pillows. The crowd pulled him to the main structure where a low table was laid out with food.

“It is our custom to partake of everything life has to offer us. Food, drink, ourselves…” Kahsa informed his guests as he brought them to the table. “Tonight we will feast… Share pleasures.” 

There was plenty of food and drink and it was all delicious. One of the drinks was intoxicating. As their star set small hanging lights lit up the columns that supported the gazebo roof. Musicians played and dancers danced upon the now cleared table, swaying their hips and enticing their audience to either join in the dancing or for something a bit more intimate. Kirk sat beside Kahsa with Spock on his other side. Before him a female swayed her hips. Vaguely he could hear Spock conversing with someone seated next to him. 

“Where is your penis?” The male asked.

Kirk shifted his attention to Spock. It didn’t even occur to him to look at his future husband’s genitals even though they were surrounded by a culture that made that possible. A glance down Spock’s body he saw the reason for the male’s comment. There was nothing between Spock’s legs.

“My species house our genitals internally.” Spock replied.

Really? Kirk had never known that. There was much about Spock he didn’t know. 

“Can I see?” The male asked.

“They emerge when they are needed. At the moment they are not required.” Spock answered.

“If I take you to a quiet spot to share pleasure will they emerge?” 

“Negative. I have a mate.” Spock stated. 

At that moment Kirk was surprised when the dancer on the table sat down on the table before him. “Share pleasure with me?” 

Kirk shook his head. “No… Sorry… I’m… I’m spoken for.”

The female cocked her head to the side, showing she did not understand. 

“I can’t… Sorry.” 

The female frowned and moved on to dance for someone else.

The night continued until much of the party had wandered away. In the surrounding smaller gazebos there came the sound of moans and laughter.

“Are you tired? I have prepared places for you and your people to sleep.” Kahsa stood and guided the Starfleet crew to the smaller gazebos with pillows. There were three. Security officers, Henderson and Cooper, took one gazebo. Uhura and Chapel took another gazebo. Spock and Kirk were left in a third. 

Kirk checked the bedding, finding the pillows to be moveable. There was no blanket. Nearby there was a brazier of hot coals. “You sleep closer to the brazier. Are you cold?”

“It is lower than is comfortable.” Spock responded as he sat down in the nest of pillows. 

Kirk joined him. Voices from other people in other gazebos were muffled amongst the pillows. There was an occasional moan but the rest of the sound was dampened. “It’s our own little nest.”

“Indeed…” Spock responded as he lay down in the pillows.

“I wish we had a blanket. I feel so exposed. At least there’s a roof over our heads… But I don’t think it’s solid. What happens when it rains here?”

“The rain is the same temperature as the air.” Spock answered, wrapping his arm around Kirk’s waist and pulling him close. 

“Anyone can see us…” Kirk mused. 

Spock answered by kissing the back of Kirk’s neck.

“Captain?” A female voice called in the darkness.

Kirk pulled away from Spock’s embrace and sat up to regard the two women on the edge of his nest. “Lieutenant Uhura? Nurse Chapel?”

“Captain… I have found out that our hosts consider it an insult not to… Share pleasures.” Uhura stated. “I overheard one speaking of our rudeness.”

“What are we to do?” Nurse Chapel asked. “Henderson and Cooper aren’t in their place. They’ve been lured away. We’ll be expected to… You know.” 

“Can we share this sleeping spot with you?” Uhura asked. “It will be easier to make them believe we already have bed partners if we can share this bed with you.”

“Oh…” Kirk glanced at Spock to gauge his disappointment that with the women nearby they wouldn’t be able to do anything. Spock was unreadable. But duty called and safety of his crew was the highest priority. “Sure. Come in.” Shifting over, he made room for the women to join them. They settled into the nest. Uhura and Chapel were on both sides of Spock, making Kirk feel like the odd man out. Lounging on his side, he tried not to accidentally brush up against Chapel. “I may be a cuddler…” Kirk warned her.

“I’ll shove you back on your side.” Chapel answered with a giggle while shifting closer to Spock.

“Goodnight, ladies.” Kirk called out. “Spock.”

“Goodnight, captain.” The women answered.

“Sleep well.” Spock’s response was delayed.

Kirk stared up at the gazebo roof, watching the stars that peeked in between the slats. Beside him he could hear the others begin to breathe deeply as slumber overtook them. The only exception was the steady breaths of Spock. As Kirk began to drift off he wondered if Spock understood the need to protect the crew from unwanted attention. He must…

^.~

Kirk sat up straighter in his command chair. The diplomatic mission had been a success and treaties had been signed. The return to the Enterprise meant the return to clothing. The shift immediately after his return was turning out to be routine. Occasionally he glanced to his first officer, noticing the way Spock’s trousers accentuated his ass. Thanks to the mission he knew what was beneath those trousers. 

Morning had been a little awkward. Both women had wrapped themselves around Spock during the night. It had awakened him but he was too polite to push them away. When Kirk woke he made eye contact with his Vulcan. The look in his eyes had been a silent plea for aid. Kirk took pity on him and gave a very loud yawn that woke Uhura and Chapel enough to begin their own waking process. At least Spock had been warm enough between two humans.

None of them spoke of the night before. Henderson and Cooper returned and they negotiated the treaty. The fact that none of them spent the night alone seemed to please the Benbi. 

Kirk stretched, feeling the kink in his back from sleeping in the nest. Mattresses were kinder on his spine. 

At the end of the shift he patiently waited for Spock’s replacement to come before signaling for his own to take over. They walked together into the turbolift and then towards the officer cabins. As soon as his cabin door shut behind them he found himself pressed up against the bulkhead with a very strong Vulcan pressed against his back. “Spock?”

“Jim…” The only answer the Vulcan gave as he pulled Kirk from the bulkhead and practically carried him to the bed. Once he was tossed onto the mattress Spock began to undress him and himself until they were both naked. 

“What? No dinner first?” Kirk smirked.

Spock lay down atop his human, kissing him and touching any skin he could find. “Show me how to please you.”

“You’re doing a fantastic job already.” Kirk answered.

Spock slid off and onto his side so his hand could explore Kirk’s chest. “Where do you want me to touch?”

“I don’t care.” Kirk whispered, closing his eyes and moaning when he felt Spock’s hand respond by cupping his genitals. “We don’t have to do this right now… We can have dinner first…”

“I find that unlike my counterpart I am not as patient. For days I have imagined doing this. Last night’s interruption was unfortunate. I do not know how he was able to control himself for years. I have not been able to concentrate, imagining what I would do with you once we left the bridge.”

“I was looking at your ass…” Kirk admitted.

Spock growled and pressed a kiss into Kirk’s mouth. His hand caught on Kirk’s thigh and pulled his knee over his own hips. 

Kirk broke the kiss when he felt something oily and hard press against his cock. Looking down he finally saw Spock’s penis. It was a little alien, but not completely. The coloring was green and it had two ridges. An oil coated it. “Oh… That’s…” Eagerly he pushed his hips against Spock’s to feel it pressed against him. “I want to…”

“What?” Spock breathed, trying to pull Kirk’s limbs around himself. “What do you want?”

“Lay on your back.” Kirk commanded and immediately straddled the obedient Vulcan. Maneuvering himself he managed to impale himself on Spock. For a long moment they stayed that way, Kirk’s body becoming used to the oily invader and Spock controlling his breathing. “How do I feel?”

“Hot…” Spock gasped, struggling to keep his control. “Tight.”

“Do you want to be on top?” Kirk asked.

“Not yet.” Spock whispered. His hands rested on Kirk’s thighs.

“Well… Let me know when you want to take over.” Kirk rose up a little and then sat down again, beginning a slow, gentle rhythm. Experience told him that that particular rhythm could draw out the experience until his partner nearly lost their mind with need and pounded into him. It was interesting to watch Spock’s reactions to his technique. For several minutes he struggled for control before he finally became relaxed. “Is it good?”

Spock blinked open his eyes to look up at Kirk. A small smile touched the edge of his lips and his hands lightly clutched at Kirk’s thighs. “It is good.”

“Shall I go faster?” Kirk asked, upping his pace for several strokes.

“If you like.” Spock breathed. Only a flutter of his eyelashes showed the change of pace affected him. 

“Where is the Vulcan that slammed me against the bulkhead and demanded to have his way with me?” Kirk teased.

“Pondering the way we fit together.” 

Kirk’s movements stuttered as there was a flutter deep within him. “Oh?”

Spock sat up, wrapping his arms around Kirk’s back. “I find our physical connection soothing. For the first time since… Since the loss of my planet and my mother… I am at peace.” Chastely he rested his head against Kirk’s sternum. 

Kirk held him for a long minute and then used his muscles to squeeze Spock.

Spock gasped and moved his hips a tiny bit. 

Kirk tightened again and held it, taking delight in the small movements Spock made in reaction to the tightening. 

“If you do not stop that I will lose control.”

“I would like to experience that.” Kirk responded.

Spock stopped moving his hips. “No, you do not.”

“I do.” Kirk reassured him. “If my counterpart could take it, so can I.”

“I already told you I do not have the same control as my counterpart.”

“You won’t hurt me.” Kirk murmured, kissing Spock’s cheeks and forehead. “Here…” Reaching down he took one of Spock’s hands and pulled it up to the face. “This way you’ll have feedback.”

Spock placed his fingers in the correct positions and immediately they fell into the meld. Kirk had only enough time to realize that he was being pushed onto his back with Spock between his knees before the meld overwhelmed him. It felt good. 

Two half souls merged into one radiant being. The bond blazed around them, tying them together. 

When Kirk came back to himself his first reaction was that he desperately needed to cum. It helped that Spock was pounding into him with wild abandon. The oily organ with within him easily moved, the double ridges rubbing against his inner nerve bundle until… Kirk cried out, wrapping his legs around the still moving Vulcan. His arms and legs clung to Spock as he heard breathless grunts in his ear. “That’s it, Spock…” Kirk whispered, tightening on the slippery organ.

Spock cried out and went still. 

For a long time they lay in silence, panting together as their breathing returned to normal. Spock eventually rolled off and lay on his back. “That was… Good.” Kirk chuckled softly. “See? You didn’t hurt me.”

“I am pleased that our bodies are compatible for mating.”

“Did you have any doubts?”

“Yes. I was told that humans sometimes have difficulty.”

“I’m fine.” Kirk rolled over and curled up against Spock’s side. “We are bonded, after all…” Playfully he kissed Spock’s shoulder before rolling over and getting up from the bed. “You’re stuck with me. Well… At least until I die and you have to bond with someone else.” Suddenly he felt warm a warm body wrap around him from behind, Spock’s face pressed against his shoulder. “Spock?”

“When I lose you I will lose a piece of myself.”

“You have me now.”

“Yes… And now we shall eat.” Spock lightly kissed the back of Kirk’s neck.

^.~

Kirk stared up at the pendant that swung above his head. In the darkness of the cabin he could barely see the flicker of movement as he lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

Spock’s hand caught the pendant and pulled it from Kirk’s hands. “You should be sleeping.”

“So should you.” Kirk answered.

The hologram clicked on, the birthday message lightly illuminating the two in bed. “Happy Birthday to you… Happy Birthday to you…” Older Kirk sang.

Kirk’s fingers found the pendant and turned it off. “I think you should have this.”

“He gave this to you.”

“But why would I keep a hologram of my older self? It was meant for Spock so a Spock should keep it.”

Spock was silent in the darkness for a long moment until his fingers wrapped around Kirk’s holding the pendant. “I am honored. I will cherish it always.” 

Kirk turned to face Spock’s form in the dark of the room. “Maybe one day I’ll make you one of my own…” Lightly he kissed Spock’s shoulder.

“And I will cherish that too.” Spock answered. 

“So you can’t forget me.” Kirk mused as he rested his head on Spock’s chest.

Spock’s hand came up to rest on Kirk’s cheek. “Sleep, ashayam.”

Kirk tightened his grip on Spock’s body, the endearing word making him feel warm inside. “Love you too, Spock.” 

 

\--LLAP

**Author's Note:**

> Unfilmed Scene for Reboot: (The Pendant's Message)
> 
> Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you… I know I know, it’s illogical to celebrate something you had nothing to do with, but I haven’t had the chance to congratulate you on your appointment to the ambassadorship so I thought I’d seize the occasion… Bravo, Spock — they tell me your first mission may take you away for awhile, so I’ll be the first to wish you luck… and to say… I miss you, old friend. I suppose I’d always imagined us… outgrowing Starfleet together. Watching life swing us into our Emeritus years… I look around at the new cadets now and can’t help thinking… has it really been so long? Wasn’t it only yesterday we stepped onto the Enterprise as boys? That I had to prove to the crew I deserved command… and their respect? I know what you’d say — ‘It’s their turn now, Jim…’ And of course you’re right… but it got me thinking: Who’s to say we can’t go one more round? By the last tally, only twenty five percent of the galaxy’s been chartered… I’d call that negligent. Criminal even — an invitation. You once said being a starship captain was my first, best destiny… if that’s true, then yours is to be by my side. If there’s any true logic to the universe… we’ll end up on that bridge again someday. Admit it, Spock. For people like us, the journey itself… is home.


End file.
